She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
