Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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