I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
