I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize