I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
