So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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