Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize