"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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