eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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