he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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