Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i drank out of a bidet.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
