yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
