porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
