Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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