Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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