Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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