You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
