Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
