i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
