just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
