Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
