I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
