Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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