its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
