You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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