yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
