I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
