shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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