I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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