is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
