He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
