i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
