I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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