If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
