Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
