I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
