I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
