And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize