New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
