Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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