NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she told me i tasted like america
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
