He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
