i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
me + whiskey = a bad person
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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