porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
