I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize