oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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