okay pat passed out under dana's car
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
