U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
