It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
