Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
