it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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