i just google imaged poop.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
