i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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