i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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