Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
