we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
did i walk over a car last night?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
