I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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