the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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