It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
