when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize