haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
