...so i touched it.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
